How One Deal Stopped 30 Years of Bloodshed

The Story:

Getting two people who hate each other to agree on dinner is hard.

Now imagine doing it for 30 years—when the only thing on the menu was war.

That was Northern Ireland in 1998—a country torn apart by one of the most violent conflicts in modern Europe. 

This conflict, known as The Troubles, wasn’t just a political dispute; it was a brutal war over identity.

• Irish nationalists (mostly Catholic) wanted Northern Ireland to unite with Ireland.

• Unionists (mostly Protestant) wanted to stay part of the UK.

Decades of bombings and assassinations turned cities into war zones.

Every peace talk had collapsed. Every deal had failed. 

Until one didn’t.

A single negotiation changed everything. It was called the Good Friday Agreement. 

No ultimatums. No empty promises. Just a negotiation so airtight it still holds today.

Not just a ceasefire—a masterclass in leadership, negotiation, and resilience. 

So what made this deal different? Let’s break it down.

1. You Can’t Negotiate Without TRUST

Here’s what made the 1998 agreement different:

British & Irish leaders stopped treating each other as enemies.

Instead, Tony Blair (UK) and Bertie Ahern (Ireland) built a personal relationship before formal negotiations even started.

They ate together. They laughed together.

They talked about their kids, not just politics.

Because trust isn’t built in boardrooms. It’s built in late-night calls, shared meals, and unexpected laughter. 

Lesson for Leaders

Trust always beats hostility.

Modern Example

Elon Musk & Tim Cook (Apple vs Twitter): In 2022, Musk accused Apple of “hating free speech” and seemed ready for war.

But then,

Tim Cook personally invited Musk to Apple HQ, had a friendly conversation, and the fight vanished overnight. 

Find the Overlapping Interests (Not Just the Differences)

For decades, both sides swore compromise was impossible.

But George Mitchell, the U.S. mediator, flipped the script.

Instead of debating right vs. wrong, he made both sides focus on common ground. Both wanted:

• To stop violence

• A fair political system

• A future their children wouldn’t fear

& that was enough.

By starting with common ground, negotiators built trust before tackling the toughest issues.

Lesson for Leaders

In any high-stakes negotiation—business deals, partnerships, or internal conflicts—start with alignment before argument.

When competitors focus on shared wins, everybody profits.

Modern Example

Tesla & Ford: For years, they were EV rivals.

But in 2023, Ford shocked the world by adopting Tesla’s charging standard.

Both companies realized they shared the same goal: faster EV adoption.

3. Patience > Power Plays 

Many negotiations fail because someone forces a quick deal before trust is built. 

George Mitchell spent 700 days doing one thing: getting both sides to stay in the same room long enough to talk.

Lesson for Leaders

Rushed agreements often collapse. The right pace makes them last. 

Modern Example

Microsoft & OpenAI: Microsoft didn’t rush to acquire OpenAI. 

Instead, it strategically invested, built trust, and provided support.

By 2023? 

It became OpenAI’s biggest partner, securing a multi-billion-dollar edge in AI.

4. Keep Your Enemies in the Room (Even When You Hate Them)

Most negotiations fail because the wrong people are at the table.

The Good Friday Agreement worked because everyone—even the extremists—had a seat.

Think about how insane this was:

• The Irish Republican Army (IRA)

• The Ulster loyalists 

• British military leaders

• Political parties who wanted each other dead (literally)

But they all had to negotiate—face to face.

Because you don’t make peace with your friends. You make peace with your enemies.

Lesson for Leaders

If you exclude people, they sabotage from the outside.

If you bring them in, they might still fight you—but at least they’re in the room.

Modern Example

Uber & Taxi Industry Ceasefire: For years, Uber and the taxi industry were bitter enemies. 

Taxis fought Uber’s disruption. Uber fought against taxi regulations.

But in 2022, everything changed—Uber partnered with NYC taxis.

Why?

Both sides realized they shared a bigger common enemy: empty cabs and lost rides.

By joining forces, Uber expanded its fleet, and taxis got access to more riders. 

5. The “Both Sides Win” Strategy

The hardest part of the Good Friday Agreement?

Each side swallowed a deal they swore they’d never take.

• Unionists accepted shared power with nationalists.

• Nationalists accepted staying in the UK (for now).

• Armed groups on both sides had to disarm.

Nobody won. But nobody lost, either.

Everyone got enough to make peace possible.

Lesson for Leaders

This is how the best leaders negotiate: 

They don’t fight to win.

They fight for both sides to feel like they didn’t lose. 

Great deals don’t crown winners—they leave both sides saying, ‘I’ll take it.’ 

Modern Example

Netflix & Hollywood Strikes (2023): Hollywood nearly collapsed in 2023 when writers and actors went on strike.

Netflix & studios didn’t just fight them—they found a middle ground:

• Writers & actors got streaming royalties.

• Studios got AI-related terms to remain competitive.

The Good Friday Agreement’s Legacy: Leadership That Lasts

25+ years later, Northern Ireland isn’t perfect. But it’s not in Civil War.

That’s the power of leaders who play the long game.

So, next time you’re in a negotiation—business, career, or even your personal life—ask yourself: Are you building trust… or just trying to win?

Because the best negotiators don’t aim to win. They aim to make sure no one loses.

Until next time,

Lead with trust (and ofc a little patience).

P.S. Want more insights? Connect with me on LinkedIn